Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Resistance

     My husband has been seeing that chiropractor for a couple of months now and it seems to be having some positive effects on him. That's always a good thing because it's such a hit-and-miss methodology when it comes to managing his disorder. I'm pleased, too, that this new treatment seems to be helping not only the physical manifestations of the Marfan's, but also the effects it has on his head and his spirit. It doesn't often happen that we find something that's successful in treating his physical ailments, so to have found something that apparently works on both his body and soul, that's pretty exciting for me.

      Obviously, I don't know exactly what's going on in his head regarding his health, nor do I know what's gone on in there through the years. We talk about it quite a bit of course, but I'll never know everything. That's as it should be, I think, because no matter how much you love someone and want to share with them, you have to keep some things for yourself. I know he thinks some bad things about himself because he's not well and the fact that they're completely unwarranted makes no difference. My husband is a stubborn and sometimes irrational creature and if he wants to believe that he's never going to be as good as the guy next to him because of his disorder, then that's what he'll believe.

     Since he's started with this chiropractor, though, I've begun to see a subtle change, one I'm not even sure he's aware of. It's like he's fighting back against the physical pain, the head trips he gets sent on, all of it. Granted, I've only been with him for about two years and only knew him for about a year prior to that, so I'm probably not the best one to judge whether or not this phenomenon is new to him. However, based on my limited knowledge of his younger years and my understanding of who he is as a person, I feel pretty confident in saying this attitude adjustment is a first-time deal.

     How did I come to that conclusion, you ask? Well, from what I've been told by my husband of the time before I knew him and the stories of their shared adventures I've been told by Adam, I know that his health wasn't really at the forefront of his mind. To be fair, my husband didn't have his heart surgery until he was twenty-eight, so the blood thinners and beta blockers were a nonexistent issue for the majority of his twenties. The spinal fusion happened when he was twenty-two, though, and he knew without a doubt that he had Marfan's Syndrome. Most people would take both of these things into account and adjust their lifestyle accordingly, but not my husband.

     The easiest way to sum up how my husband behaved during that time period is to say that he rather ignored his disorder until he was presented with something that needed to be tended to immediately if not sooner, like his heart and its faulty aortic valve. He went on like that for quite some time, right up until the time we got together, in fact. I don't want to make it seem like I was the one who changed his way of thinking, but I tend to handle issues head-on instead of pretending they're not happening until I can't ignore them any longer. In a way, my husband had no choice but to become more proactive about his health if he wanted to peacefully coexist with me.

     That change in thinking is all well and good, a positive step for him, but this attitude I've been seeing since he started with the chiropractor is something a bit beyond that. It's like he's got more hope now that maybe things don't have to be the way they always were. For example, I've noticed him calling into work less lately and it's not because he's not in pain, but rather because the chiropractor has told him that he needs to try and move as normally as possible when his muscles knot up. After the first few days, which no doubt sucked, it seemed to get better. It was almost like my husband didn't believe he could push through the muscle pain before now, but once the doctor told him to give it a try, he was startled to realize that he could.




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