Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Sick Again

     Well, it was nice while it lasted. My husband had to call into work yesterday because he was just in too much pain to do it and we both knew that if he would've gone in anyway, it would have resulted in nothing but badness. He'd worked his second job on Saturday and had pulled a double, so it wasn't entirely unexpected that he woke up on Monday in a decent amount of pain. (His second job is waiting tables at a local pub and is fairly labor-intensive. This, despite the fact that he has several little workarounds to make it actually doable for someone in his condition, like the fact that he never carries full trays; he just makes several trips to the tables to serve their food.)

     It's a little more complicated when he needs to call into work that it would be for someone who's healthy. I know he feels guilty when he has to do it, because he's got a limited amount of sick days and has gone through them pretty quickly this year. Luckily, before yesterday, he hadn't called in for a little more than two months, so yesterday wasn't unpaid. That's always key in our household. He always asks me now before he actually makes the call, to make sure I'm okay with it that he's missing a day. I'm aware of how very "Wow, we know who wears the pants in that family" that sounds, but I promise you, it's not really like that.

     It's just that I'm the one who's a little more removed from the situation and so can better see when he really does need to take a day off to give his body a break and when he just feels kind of "meh". Truthfully, most people would call into work for a "meh" day or two and not think anything of it. Hell, I'm sure I've done it myself once or twice. My husband doesn't have that luxury. What with all the days that he can't move from the pain in his back and the days that he has to spend at the hospital dealing with things like a squished eyeball, he really has to pick and choose what's worth it to take time off for. Then when you factor in all the half days and days he goes in late to accommodate the 8,265 doctor's visits he has to have to make sure everything is still (more or less) functioning as it should, it gets even more convoluted.

     I think, though, that it's better for him and for us in the long run if he takes the time he needs as he needs it. The Marfan's is degenerative, which basically just means that it's going to break him down as the years go on. No one, not even his specialists, know how fast it's going to happen or to what extent. They can make well-educated guesses, but at the end of the day, that's all they are - guesses. My husband and I are managing this disorder as well as we can, but it's totally an as-we-go sort of thing. He knows his body well enough at this point to know when he needs to stay put to avoid the more dire consequence of pushing it too far and then landing in the emergency room. And all that? That's just the physical and on-the-surface part of the issue. The guilt that he feels for having to have so many more accommodations than the average person is another story altogether...

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